sistasage ages.

feeling better. well, feeling okay about not feeling great.

my folks visited today, and mom found my high school grad dress. it's deep burgundy and mildly medieval in a gothic, vampire-y sort of way. perfect for costume party adornments, and mom suggested it as a possibility for a wedding dress. her own dress is another alternative, an ivory long-sleeved relatively classic dress with ivory beading, or embroidered with something in some way... i intuitively feel like it's too fancy for the kind of wedding we'll have. i mean, a hostel is booked, we'll be staying in hank, people will be camped and the 'ceremony' will be in a meadow. that sheds light on our style. i want to mark the occasion with adornment (what is that, anyway? this method of expression we have evolved, taped onto the back of the necessity of sheltering one's body from the elements through clothing ourselves), but it needs to fit in with the outdoor world. if we got married in the evening, that might work more for burgundy. hey, that's kind of an interesting idea - sunset ceremony. then we can get right to the eating and drinking and hot-tub-lounging.

weddings are making me think about the future, about my values. values. yeesh.

my mom's husband and the queen traded childhood farm stories, often involving the harm one of the siblings wrecked on another (my favourite was the pitchfork thrown like a spear in revenge for being driven over with the tractor (and into the manure pile). although the story of two broken noses holds a special place too). mom and i were sitting there with our tame-ass kiddie stories, realising we never would have survived such darwinian upbringings.

the peanut - cute as ever. more knitted goods have arrived, and storybooks... i feel very loved by my friends and family. i feel like we, as a family unit, are loved by a larger community (a community based not in geography but in time and experience and choice). it's a new feeling, my heart holds it warmly.