i guess this is it, 2011. maybe.

maybe more mental powers! maybe not.

i found typos in my previous entry. so sad. maybe now that i am succumbing to a seasonal cold, i will be smarter. yeah.

the wife's mom said something i am currently trying to remember because it connects to something i wanted to say... oh well. i shared in this great in-between moment at the wife's on boxing day where us bees napped and the wife's mom took batdog out to the shopping place and the wife made soup while listening to bob marley. it was so quiet. the wife and i later agreed it was an awesome point in all the excess. we had a post-craziness discuss today where we acknowledged our relationship and its benefits.

the dumpling and i (we are considering renaming her 'the pork chop') went on a walk today with her new sleigh. it's the cutest little baby sleigh. well, she might make it cuter. we were able to make two trips to the recycling and mail a letter to our friend field-in-bloom. these are my days and i am glad to get back to them. i even like my stack of dishes. how weird is that?

things that have been accomplished over the holidays:

- i learned how to play craps (and lost five dollars of mrs awesome's)

- i visited my own family, a brother of the queen's, the wife (and her family), an old friend from high school, an old friend from university, a sweet friend with three cats and a beautiful cottage, and field-in-bloom.

- the queen and i hosted the awesomes and chaos, and nothing was even broken. now that's a gift. we also hosted pixie from new orleans, and her chauffeur ms sparkle.

- i collected letters from friends for my friend in jail. i haven't yet mailed these though, so it's only sort of an accomplishment.

- stretched boundaries of dumpling. she came through with shining stars and new abilities and some extra fan base coverage (always good strategy).

i'm tired of listing things. i vacuumed today. the cat is alive. i feel peace in these apparent facts. wit shall come later.

i read an actual book! i thought it was a tawdry mystery from the sixties, but it was actually a rad dystopic novel translated from the swedish. i shan't remember the title (shame) but it's written by per wahloo, maybe with umlauts. okay, definitely almost certainly with umlauts. it joins my collection of dystopic paperbacks. yay. (i will go rescue it from the mystery section. of course i have sections on my bookshelf. i worked at a good bookstore.)

i needed to move the dust buster (charging) to find the dystopic section. oh my.

also, i seem to have lost "the handmaids' tale". it's not a very big section; that's quite the dent.

perhaps i shall retire at this point.

smreiakgagi;an

we went too many places, the dumpling has too many toys, there were festivities and visits and even a bit of jesus. we survived. i was so exhausted, i didn't even drink. seriously. i'm so hard done by...

our house is very messy.

i read this amazing post on grief by an amazing woman. i know i am grieving right now. i feel anxious, tired, sad, bloated, beaten and empty. i feel grateful for my home and family. i feel rich and overstimulated. i feel demanded upon and yet satisfied that i am not twenty and seeking.

we got home last night at around midnight, put the dumpling to bed and opened our presents. i forgot that i had put fancy cheese in the queen's stocking and it sat in the living room for two days. at least the cat didn't get it. it's in schrodinger's fridge right now, possibly gone bad. living amongst the other things that have possibly gone bad.

after stockings and scotch, the queen went to bed and i stayed up, until three in the morning, cleaning. i probably got about a third the way through the slog. i spent some of the time mentally posting on this blog. you should've been there - we were laughing and looking at pictures of the spaceship the awesome possums made for the dumpling out of a cardboard box. pictures i might never actually post. supposing i actually take them in the first place.

merry holidays. may you not run out of toilet paper. my god, this is such a north amercian post of privilege.

merry merry

weekendia! welcome to the land of strangely-timed meals and hobby-cruising queens! welcome to a visitation from Chaos, and only one broken thing after he left (the queen's flask; how i don't know, because i went to bed at a reasonable 1am. but really, how do you break a metal flask? it has no neck anymore, just an empty hole - so sad). welcome to people sleeping on available surfaces, and blatant napping. welcome to greasy breakfasts and another bodum of coffee.

i feel good! visitations are lovely for cleaning the mental and emotional slates. and the queen puttered around yesterday resulted in a hangout spot in the basement for loudness and messiness. it's remarkably satisfying not to worry about cleaning up when i go to bed, and still get a functional table for breakfast.

the dumpling also enjoyed the company, and of course increased her fan base with big smiles and shy waves. we played radiohead and the girls, and Chaos played the banjo. deep and shallow discussions were had. wine was spilled. food was prepared. yay.

blaggity blah blah

i've been mentally blogging all week, but of course this will sound like i just pulled it out of my ass while waiting for brownies to bake.

... fuck, i'm drawing a total blank. like that warp field that erases all the films you want to see from your memory, as soon as you enter the rental place (back in the day, when you used to rent films, at a physical location. remember that? dude, you are so old!).

we are looking for a new place to live. we visited a town nearby that has an actual lake, and thus a beach front and tourism. now i am jealous. when i lived in the city, tourism was lame, but now it means that something might be open past five pm (or even on a sunday! my gosh!). also, there's an indian restaurant. i could do that.

it was my first official mother's day as a recipient rather than just a giver. my folks came down, and the queen and my mom's husband cooked us steaks. they were yummy. the queen also came home with a lovely "plant".

him: i wanted to get you something green and living!
me (thinking): that looks just like those plants i see in restaurants, cool.
me, feeling the leaves: honey are you sure it's real?
him: ... nooooooo!!

thankfully, he had kept the receipt. great comic relief.

i read an interesting debate on fbook about the consumeristic, hallmark nature of mother's day. truthfully, i don't find it so in my life. i usually just got my mom some seeds for the garden, and made her a card. i think, in a way, that the consumerism nightmare argument doesn't work if you don't let it dictate your life. are the people in your life really going to be disappointed that you didn't buy them something? handmade things and thoughtful actions are pretty fantastic. and if we don't have enough time to do something nice one day (or five, or ten) out of the year, then isn't it more accurate to complain about our own damn lifestyles, rather than blame it on a holiday? it's odd, because i used to bitch about the consumerism and the resulting pressure at every holiday. but now i don't care.

which doesn't mean i don't stress over gift-giving; just not about buying shit. the queen's birthday is coming up. what do you get for the person who orders everything they want on the internet? handmade card, coming right up!

the brownie recipe (from this book, which i highly recommend for those gluten-free cooks who like slightly more complex recipes. also, not vegetarian, though offering some dairy-free options) called for a quarter cup hot coffee, so of course i made a wee french press and had a cup. now i am thinking i'll be up for hours, but truthfully i'll probably just make icing, read a bit from spadework (not finished, so not sure if i agree entirely with this review, but i am enjoying this one less than his others), and fall into a fitful sleep that will only start to feel restful shortly before the peanut stirs.