July 26, 2010

missteps in feminism

damn. you know when you're reading something that's opening your eyes to a whole new perspective, and hand in hand with that is the realization that you've been 'taken' by a facile trend, a mass-delusion? it doesn't take away the nice things that you found there, but it colours everything that happened to you in a dangerous new shade.

like when you casually learn that the person who was being awfully nice to you has a habit of hitting on insecure single people.... and you're like "oh that's me". you end up separating the goodness you felt from the actual bigger experience, or you lose the feeling altogether and end up bitter and taken advantage of. but for god's sake, don't pretend you can still have that experience now. now that you know what else is going on.

not that my experience was that drastic. this 'bitch' article (which i was led to via mimi smartypants' blog post) totally got me. i really enjoyed reading eat, pray, love and didn't even stop to think about how much money and privilege was required to make the book happen. all i thought was that elizabeth gilbert was lucky. but i resonate strongly with the ideas that a) self-help for women has become awfully expensive and; b) it still reinforces that there's something wrong with us. we need to fix ourselves? last time i checked, "being me" wasn't on the list of major injustices being perpetrated on the planet right now. i think what i need to do is remember that.

just as i remember that someone being nice to me doesn't make them a nice person. someone being nice to everyone (well, except really mean people) is what makes them a nice person.

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