August 21, 2008

high-jumping the fence

not sure how to sum it all up, especially when i'd rather move on. which i guess i am doing; moving on to another home. which is exciting, even as it is sad.

there seem to be many things going on, and while i wish to think with a clear head, the processing feels like it might take a while. so when am i detached enough to make a decision? usually long past the time i need to make one. alternatively i could act now and review later. it's a trend.

ha. asking myself what i would like to do, i find that i wish i had predicted this and avoided it. aversion, here you are again. so much stronger than desire. but in terms of dragging me around, exactly the same. i must have asked for a lesson in 'grin and bear it', because i am really avoiding that. on the other hand, maybe it's the 'stand up for your rights in quiet, unexciting ways' lesson i'm getting. so many to choose from.

uh, gee. i guess i'll just look to the gentlest part of me to take care of. and get on that.

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