still pregnant.

oh my. and how is today.

well, today is another day. we went for one last ultrasound because the baby is presenting so small (they have an optimum growth chart, and i reached the edge of the okay zone on the last midwife's visit. they weren't too concerned, but offered up the ultrasound option as a "better safe than sorry" choice, and we took it since we are know-nothing newbie parents). the eastern european guy who ran the centre popped in while the technician was oozing around with the remote on my blue-goop-covered tummy, and announced everything was fine. he cheerfully pointed out i wasn't the tallest kid on the block, and added that some women just don't show as much as others. the baby is between six and seven pounds, which is a reasonable size. truthfully, not that i would take up smoking to get a small baby or anything insane like that, but i am happier at the idea of birthing a dolphin than a whale. it's my vagina's first time, let's take it easy. the queen's family was all ginormous, and i am very happy i am not birthing a ten- to fourteen-pound earthling through my "pink and healthy birth path" (hey hey, daily affirmations!).

after the ultrasound we picked up some groceries (we're like squirrels, packing away for winter. all the cupboards and freezers are full) and sent off a package at the post office to our friend field in bloom. we also picked up a package (yay!) from the awesomes. it included some microphones the queen had left at their place, things the awesome kids had made, handmade books for writing in that ms awesome is making these days, and the tiniest pair of moccasins in the world. damn, there are perks to having a baby. cute little moccasins is one of them.

when we came home, i was exhausted, and lay down to finally start jeanette winterson's latest, "the stone gods". i am trying to remember to read things other than baby books. one i am very much enjoying is louise erdrich's "original fire": poetry that really rocks my world right now. i like the poems quoted on that link, but my favourite so far is "clouds". also, that link led me to this one, which is good for a giggle. hey, i worked at a bookstore with cats that have their own little pages up on the website, i'm not one to judge. it looks like a great bookstore.

i've subscribed to the "offbeat mama" website, and a redneck photoshoot on it inspired the queen and i. so he put on his headband, i my old north country fair shirt and both of us our cowboy boots and did a little photoshoot in front of the stove at home. it was so much more fun than the cheesy, mom-and-a-bucket-of-love pregnancy photos i see so often. it made us both laugh really hard, which is invaluable as we rocket toward a life-changing event.

i was chatting with a friend who is pregnant with her third. we talked about how the stricter your birthing plan, the more likely things are to turn out differently. she and i were both in a pretty hippie community seven or so years ago when she was birthing her first, and she ended up getting an epidural because the shape of her pelvis didn't allow the baby to descend well, and the pain of the head hitting her pelvis repeatedly made it difficult for my friend to stay relaxed enough to help her baby out. after two days of contractions at home and twenty-four hours of monitored labour, she took the epidural and out the baby came. i relayed to her a very similar story, only the mom was a midwife who ended up going to the hospital and getting an epidural for the same reason and with the same results - out popped little one after the mama was able to relax. my friend said she used to feel a little weird telling the story for fear of being judged by the "natural birthing" community, but that it made her realise there is a place for western medicine. aye aye! so here's a neat link from a woman who made her birthing choice. it reminds me of when i realised that a feminist isn't someone who does or does not shave her legs, but rather, someone who makes the choice to shave for herself, not for society or her partner or the neighbours.

onward, newly discovered freedoms.