February 9, 2012

full moon my arse.

bad day. not the kind that leaves a scar, just, you know:

throwing something at the garbage and missing;
getting peed on (and then forgetting to change my pants);
a baby who doesn't want to eat but still has a bottomless pit;
a cat who flees early in the day and isn't seen again for hours (someone knew when to clear out);
getting up two hours earlier than normal for no reason in particular;
that empty feeling of nothing to look forward to;
forgetting the recycling when going for a walk, checking the mail but it's empty;
not doing yoga;
being plagued by dishes and laundry all day;
cold toast;
cold coffee;
near tears;
burned the grilled cheese sandwich that was supposed to make me feel better;
the newly cleaned high chair getting exceptionally dirty (wet dirty, how obnoxious);

trying to list the good things, or at least the bad things that haven't happened, but it feels like thinking of starving children in africa just to make myself feel less pathetic, you know? bad days are bad days, no matter what the scale. some days i don't care if there is food in my fridge. i know i should but i don't. so what if i didn't break a glass? woo me. so lucky.

i don't feel comfortable with the plan for the near future, so it's difficult to look forward to something. and true to myself, i don't have a plan i would prefer, i just don't like the one we are making.

okay, there's my witticism-free late night post. onward and hopefully upward.

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