what makes it suck sometimes

- because counting one's blessings doesn't take the suck away, and i never have enjoyed watching people trying to "fake it to make it" all better.

the queen working weekends.
no weekends?!#@!$ yesterday he got off early (three) and we went to the lake. we met two brothers there. one has a boat and two kids; older boys who like cliff-jumping, and watching the fight that broke out after some douche sucker-punched a guy (douche got told). we ended up having a fire at the farm, but the queen's parents are off doing something horse-related for a few days and weren't there. i touched one of the feral kittens! cute.

on the way to the beach, we stopped at a garage sale and i got some super cute stuff for the peanut. while the queen was at work, a mutual friend we went festivalling with this summer came by, and we had a good greasy breakfast. so it was, all around, weekendy. and it made me feel SO MUCH BETTER. but one day isn't enough! labour movements and studies have shown! and he thought he only had to do a couple of hours today, but now it looks like he'll be there 'til three again. hopefully, some people are coming by tonight and we'll have a fire. and eventually the busy season will end. but i don't know what my life will look like, how it will change, because we haven't been through this before, together. so it's not entirely reassuring. we have no "bigger picture" routine yet, if ever! do i need routine?