coast and roll

the ups and downs have been the flavour of the day. in my health, i've noticed feeling alternately crappy and fantastic - signs of detox in motion. a regular customer at the restaurant my roommate works at commented on his favourite cross-country skiing weather, between zero and minus ten degrees celcius, as having been extremely rare this winter. other examples that aren't mine to offer seem also to indicate that the rollercoaster is a good symbol to be aware right now.

an internal grounding mechanism is vital in navigating a tumultuous external space.

right now, the grounding tool i am practicing is being embodied willingly. there have been times i have regarded my body as a prison. other times i become the prison guard resolutely crouching into a tight little ball, hunching over a computer screen, tolerating pain like it's some kind of endurance contest. even the 'healthy' things i did, i did to my body, not with it or for it. sudden dietary changes, hiking for hours without stretching, fasting, hardcore yoga, continually stretched beyond my body's boundaries; empty activities.

i've been doing some really mellow yoga recently. it's hard to feel upset or uncomfortable in these soft, resting poses. there is a list of supportive props they want you to start each session with: bolsters, pillows, three blankets, an eye pillow... and the people pictured doing the postures all look like they're sleeping. yes. this is the vibe i want to cultivate. i've had enough of 'the edge', thanks much, i'll take the hedge. and a hammock. and do these poses for an hour at a time. that will be my day, "whew! put in a hard day on the mat - eight hours, eight different resting poses. i am ready for my evening!"