whew.
not going to lie; things have been rough. but now that i am feeling better, i can talk about it. of course.
the queen's vacation with the awesomes is going well. drinking, shooting, playing music, etc. of course, i am equally enjoying a testosterone-free home; all weapons and tools larger than a swiss army knife are in the mancave and nothing has been deep-fried in days. the dumpling and i go for walks every day, we put up some outdoor LED lights in the bushes today and i spent some money at thinkgeek.com for the holy-day season.
the tough things. yeah. okay maybe i can't talk about them yet. this parenting-as-a-couple thing is rough. take the hardest thing you've ever done and imagine trying to do it while coordinating dance steps with someone else. i don't even know how sane i am or am not. but the queen and i are figuring it out. separation is good for us. must remember.
i am loving all the things that are difficult, and i feel more meaning in my life than i have in years. it's just ... not easy. oh well. blah blah blah insert truism here. stick it out, sista.
dumpling popping her second front tooth is helping a lot, yeah. at least it's just she and i in the middle of the night, so the noise doesn't matter. i've noticed that when she teethes, she doesn't like eating as much and wants more bottles. she threw carrots at me yesterday, and the highchair today had serious rice fall-out. rice gets into crevices.
anyway, times are times are times.
November 28, 2011
November 26, 2011
if only i took notes
again, the witticisms have passed and i am left only with the knowledge that it has been some time since i have blogged.
things (exclamation mark). we had a little bird visiting for a few days. culinary delights ensued. we made sushi, which was awesome, and then he hooked us up with a moroccan dish and rice pudding... the plethora of food left over gave me the courage and necessity to make salmon patties. he made me a sandwich. dang, it has been a very long time since someone has made me a sandwich. i find myself remembering especially lousy days in the service industry when i found myself craving the other end of the consumer interaction - having sold things all day, i needed to buy something in an elementary attempt to right the imbalance. it was the same with the sandwich. i have been feeding two other people for a while now, and it was really, really lovely to have someone make ME something. specifically for me.
the queen has gone to visit the awesomes. the dumpling and i were scheduled to go with him, but it seems healthier for he and i to take separate vacations right now, so while i am sad to miss out on the awesomes, i know the benefits will extend into our lives.
and i am already feeling freer in the household than i have in a while. which is mildly disturbing, because i would like to feel this free all the time. at least in my own home, yes?
things (exclamation mark). we had a little bird visiting for a few days. culinary delights ensued. we made sushi, which was awesome, and then he hooked us up with a moroccan dish and rice pudding... the plethora of food left over gave me the courage and necessity to make salmon patties. he made me a sandwich. dang, it has been a very long time since someone has made me a sandwich. i find myself remembering especially lousy days in the service industry when i found myself craving the other end of the consumer interaction - having sold things all day, i needed to buy something in an elementary attempt to right the imbalance. it was the same with the sandwich. i have been feeding two other people for a while now, and it was really, really lovely to have someone make ME something. specifically for me.
the queen has gone to visit the awesomes. the dumpling and i were scheduled to go with him, but it seems healthier for he and i to take separate vacations right now, so while i am sad to miss out on the awesomes, i know the benefits will extend into our lives.
and i am already feeling freer in the household than i have in a while. which is mildly disturbing, because i would like to feel this free all the time. at least in my own home, yes?
November 18, 2011
more nothing or more than nothing
okay, while i have some time (exclamation mark).
the queen went to costco today (in a hideous and fascinating tidbit, we are down to one third of that jar of mayo). i've been trying to make room for the quarter of a steer we're getting in a couple of weeks, and i am proud to say i stuffed the healthy stack of freezer goods (and i use the term 'healthy' as an adjective meaning 'of some size') into the fridge freezer and left the stand-up freezer undisturbed. it is fallow.
if the queen sees things that say "organic" and "gluten-free" he tosses them into the cart knowing i'll be all aglow, so there are often a few surprises. today he surprised me with a super-funky bean mix (seriously, i didn't think mixed beans could get down, but these beans get down like nobody's business) with several quick and easy methods of preparation posted on the back that have me mildly excited.
i've been arranging dried flowers every now and then, and it quite pleases and satisfies me. i feel weird about how much i enjoy it. it's a hobby i didn't see myself having. oh well. guess who we see ourselves as isn't always who we turn into. who knows.
the queen went to costco today (in a hideous and fascinating tidbit, we are down to one third of that jar of mayo). i've been trying to make room for the quarter of a steer we're getting in a couple of weeks, and i am proud to say i stuffed the healthy stack of freezer goods (and i use the term 'healthy' as an adjective meaning 'of some size') into the fridge freezer and left the stand-up freezer undisturbed. it is fallow.
if the queen sees things that say "organic" and "gluten-free" he tosses them into the cart knowing i'll be all aglow, so there are often a few surprises. today he surprised me with a super-funky bean mix (seriously, i didn't think mixed beans could get down, but these beans get down like nobody's business) with several quick and easy methods of preparation posted on the back that have me mildly excited.
i've been arranging dried flowers every now and then, and it quite pleases and satisfies me. i feel weird about how much i enjoy it. it's a hobby i didn't see myself having. oh well. guess who we see ourselves as isn't always who we turn into. who knows.
November 17, 2011
blankey blank blank
it's been forever - sorry, pigeon-mistress.
i've been struggling with the way my blogging has changed. i feel like this is more a chronicle of my activities and less a collection of my witticisms and epiphanies. le sigh. i still have witty and mind-blowing moments, i am just too busy or tired to write them down. maybe that will be my next rebellion. i try and rebel at least once a week. sometimes i stay up late drinking whiskey and writing letters, sometimes i furiously clean the house and pile sir mans-a-lot's various tools back down into the mancave, sometimes i have an illicit bath while the dumpling naps and the dishes pile up (because dishes spawn when you let them lie).
i've been driving more recently. it feels empowering. finally. we've got snow, but it isn't crazy icy yet. just cold.
the dumpling is growing and eats a lot. a lot. also, frequently. it seems like i just got her up and changed her, and then after eating we play for a bit and she goes down for a nap. planning outdoor activities requires a strict "move along, nothing to see here" attitude, which seems weird and forced. but we usually make it out of the house once a day. and we play a lot.
i'm having trouble getting to the stuff i like doing, but i drew a little this evening - oil pastels on a paper bag. fun.
anyway. might as well post this; it isn't getting any more interesting. what am i doing?
parenting takes the lead, learning new skills comes next, then maintenance tasks (laundry, pasta sauce), then art, then blogging and letter-writing. minimum exercise.
okay, here's a tidbit: my favourite feeding is the late night feeding right before i go to bed, especially if i get there first with a ready-to-go bottle. after she guzzles it back she stretches waaay out (like a starfish basking in the awesomeness of the ocean), and while i'm pulling the blankets up, she grabs a hold of the wool blankie knit by my aunt and pulls it over her head. dreams are merely seconds away.
i've been struggling with the way my blogging has changed. i feel like this is more a chronicle of my activities and less a collection of my witticisms and epiphanies. le sigh. i still have witty and mind-blowing moments, i am just too busy or tired to write them down. maybe that will be my next rebellion. i try and rebel at least once a week. sometimes i stay up late drinking whiskey and writing letters, sometimes i furiously clean the house and pile sir mans-a-lot's various tools back down into the mancave, sometimes i have an illicit bath while the dumpling naps and the dishes pile up (because dishes spawn when you let them lie).
i've been driving more recently. it feels empowering. finally. we've got snow, but it isn't crazy icy yet. just cold.
the dumpling is growing and eats a lot. a lot. also, frequently. it seems like i just got her up and changed her, and then after eating we play for a bit and she goes down for a nap. planning outdoor activities requires a strict "move along, nothing to see here" attitude, which seems weird and forced. but we usually make it out of the house once a day. and we play a lot.
i'm having trouble getting to the stuff i like doing, but i drew a little this evening - oil pastels on a paper bag. fun.
anyway. might as well post this; it isn't getting any more interesting. what am i doing?
parenting takes the lead, learning new skills comes next, then maintenance tasks (laundry, pasta sauce), then art, then blogging and letter-writing. minimum exercise.
okay, here's a tidbit: my favourite feeding is the late night feeding right before i go to bed, especially if i get there first with a ready-to-go bottle. after she guzzles it back she stretches waaay out (like a starfish basking in the awesomeness of the ocean), and while i'm pulling the blankets up, she grabs a hold of the wool blankie knit by my aunt and pulls it over her head. dreams are merely seconds away.
November 2, 2011
blagga blagga blag
internet, oh yeah.
i've been up in the city with the dumpling, and staying with the wife (we still discuss how she's the husband, and how we're both wives, and how inappropriate it is to describe our relationship with such an analogy). her new place is really cute, and really tiny. also, really internetless until this evening. so of course we're both sitting beside each other, (b)e-ing.
it's nice being up here. firstly, because i'm still depressed. this is helpful because it's information. i know i'm not depressed due solely to location. in fact, conversing with a friend led me to the realisation that after all i've been through in the last year and a half, i probably merit 'coming down' a bit. it's inevitable to have some plateaus. after the dizzying heights and rocket ship trips of late, these plainsy places might feel a tad blah. so that's how i feel. it's reasonable. it will pass. it isn't a tragically deep cesspool of postpartum blues from which i will never arise except as a wraith of a woman, shrouded in grey, wispy, shapeless sweaters.
it's also lovely to miss my manly queen. we've been talking while i'm gone. he's visiting the guys, eating chinese food, leaving beer cans all over the house, etc. to give credit, he is also being nice to the cat, knowing how much she is suffering. it's nice to miss each other. he misses the dumpling, of course. and i miss him both for myself (ze cuddles) and as a relief from parenting. there are many people here who like to hang out with the baby, but they aren't her dad, on whom i rely regularly and have agreements with (i think). the space has been good for us.
and lastly, the city is good for all the reasons it usually boasts: i have shopped 'locally', picked up cheaper expensive cat food, visited with Da Ladies (stay tuned for dumpling's first 'other hippie baby' playdate), enjoyed walking around and eating indian food, visited the bookstore... plus this time i got a massage, which was awesome. someone rubbing my sore spots made me feel simultaneously lucky and sorry for myself.
as i enjoy myself, i look forward to going home. traveling with a baby is weightier. and my home rocks.
nb: spilled water on computer, have no exclamation mark access. insert heavy emotion where you see fit.
i've been up in the city with the dumpling, and staying with the wife (we still discuss how she's the husband, and how we're both wives, and how inappropriate it is to describe our relationship with such an analogy). her new place is really cute, and really tiny. also, really internetless until this evening. so of course we're both sitting beside each other, (b)e-ing.
it's nice being up here. firstly, because i'm still depressed. this is helpful because it's information. i know i'm not depressed due solely to location. in fact, conversing with a friend led me to the realisation that after all i've been through in the last year and a half, i probably merit 'coming down' a bit. it's inevitable to have some plateaus. after the dizzying heights and rocket ship trips of late, these plainsy places might feel a tad blah. so that's how i feel. it's reasonable. it will pass. it isn't a tragically deep cesspool of postpartum blues from which i will never arise except as a wraith of a woman, shrouded in grey, wispy, shapeless sweaters.
it's also lovely to miss my manly queen. we've been talking while i'm gone. he's visiting the guys, eating chinese food, leaving beer cans all over the house, etc. to give credit, he is also being nice to the cat, knowing how much she is suffering. it's nice to miss each other. he misses the dumpling, of course. and i miss him both for myself (ze cuddles) and as a relief from parenting. there are many people here who like to hang out with the baby, but they aren't her dad, on whom i rely regularly and have agreements with (i think). the space has been good for us.
and lastly, the city is good for all the reasons it usually boasts: i have shopped 'locally', picked up cheaper expensive cat food, visited with Da Ladies (stay tuned for dumpling's first 'other hippie baby' playdate), enjoyed walking around and eating indian food, visited the bookstore... plus this time i got a massage, which was awesome. someone rubbing my sore spots made me feel simultaneously lucky and sorry for myself.
as i enjoy myself, i look forward to going home. traveling with a baby is weightier. and my home rocks.
nb: spilled water on computer, have no exclamation mark access. insert heavy emotion where you see fit.
October 14, 2011
stuff! things! time!
thieving some time in the midday to blog.
brain kind of on overload. thanksgiving was successful with only one minor meltdown on my part and several cranky moments from the overstimulated dumpling. she was seated at the head of my mom's dinner table, with a mickey mouse plate for banging on, and mashed potatoes by the fingerfuls from my plate.
the awesomes' visit was true to their name, and they even brought a little bird, who left a pot roast in our fridge that i cooked up a couple of days ago. i had never cooked pot roast before (it's an hours-long thing with lots of opening of the oven to pour more meat liquid over the roast to prevent it from drying out. also, it comes with a string around it, which you cut off afterward), but the queen said good things and so did bijoux, who came for dinner with scalloped potatoes. of course the house is a mess and things have stacked up, but oh freaking well, right? because i successfully survived a holiday AND made a pot roast that received multiple accolades. so screw you, decaying apples.
the dumpling's hollow leg has been pounding back the carrots, apples, minced hormone-free chicken, avocados, sweet potatoes, green beans and my mom's canned peaches, among other things. adults wipe their mouths, but children need their entire faces wiped. i regularly wipe food off of her forehead, eyebrows and hair.
friends have been going through rough times, so my energy is there, not here. "this too shall pass", i guess. sometimes that's the worst of it. something totally sideswipes you in life, and even that tragedy passes. so you go back to work. you brush your teeth. how different is anything? things should be more different, you think. the difference should last, like the difference in your psyche.
we bottled the queen's first batch of wine. it's quite lovely. are you ready for halloween, then snow? oh of course. of course. the race is on. i'm stockpiling cuddles, myself.
brain kind of on overload. thanksgiving was successful with only one minor meltdown on my part and several cranky moments from the overstimulated dumpling. she was seated at the head of my mom's dinner table, with a mickey mouse plate for banging on, and mashed potatoes by the fingerfuls from my plate.
the awesomes' visit was true to their name, and they even brought a little bird, who left a pot roast in our fridge that i cooked up a couple of days ago. i had never cooked pot roast before (it's an hours-long thing with lots of opening of the oven to pour more meat liquid over the roast to prevent it from drying out. also, it comes with a string around it, which you cut off afterward), but the queen said good things and so did bijoux, who came for dinner with scalloped potatoes. of course the house is a mess and things have stacked up, but oh freaking well, right? because i successfully survived a holiday AND made a pot roast that received multiple accolades. so screw you, decaying apples.
the dumpling's hollow leg has been pounding back the carrots, apples, minced hormone-free chicken, avocados, sweet potatoes, green beans and my mom's canned peaches, among other things. adults wipe their mouths, but children need their entire faces wiped. i regularly wipe food off of her forehead, eyebrows and hair.
friends have been going through rough times, so my energy is there, not here. "this too shall pass", i guess. sometimes that's the worst of it. something totally sideswipes you in life, and even that tragedy passes. so you go back to work. you brush your teeth. how different is anything? things should be more different, you think. the difference should last, like the difference in your psyche.
we bottled the queen's first batch of wine. it's quite lovely. are you ready for halloween, then snow? oh of course. of course. the race is on. i'm stockpiling cuddles, myself.
October 7, 2011
warning! run-on sentences abound!
i've been wanting to post in the middle of the day when i'm doing stuff, and then at the end of the day i'm too tired to think with words. so this morning i got up early so i could say all the witty things that float through my mind. of course, by some shared bloodline creepazoid thingie, the dumpling can sense my conscious presence and is gurbling away in her crib instead of sleeping it off as a tame, not-yet-housebroken child should. oh who am i kidding, she's so not tame. one whose hobbies include grabbing onto my facial protuberances (lip being a faviourite; good for digging in with tiny talons) and then kicking me in the throat (my throat is getting to be mommy-tough) cannot be reasonably described as tame. the cat is tamer than that, and she eats flies.
the dumpling's latest feats include being able to take off her hats, which means sweaters are my saviour, though i did finally finish plasticking up the windows for winter. i also unpacked my winter clothes and am excited about woolly accessories because that's the kind of nerd i am. bring on the wrist warmers! scarves of varying thickness! leg warmers! classy gloves that remind me of my grandma but make my iphone inaccessible!
i retired hank for the season, which doesn't mean we won't take 'er on any more trips, but since the queen bought a used, right-hand drive safari (see how the steering wheel is wooden? classy, eh?) whose seats fold down quite well to fit an us-sized (okay, me-sized) mattress and one of the queen's bros gave us a portable crib, we figure we might downsize the travel accommodations for quick trips to the city. one camping stove for bottle heating - check. sorry hank. you're hard to park. but hank is still our awesome inlaw suite, where our friend fieldinbloom will be staying when he comes out in a couple of weeks! with his mother and daughter!
also, the awesomes will be staying a night on this thanksgiving long weekend. they are bringing the possums, and i am rather excited since the dumpling has evolved to a new level of playing. she quite likes the possums, and of course they like her since she is little and cute and they are smart little possums. lady awesome is no doubt liked by all girls everywhere, with her pocahontas-lady-of-the-woods eyes and her crooning ukelele skills.
other thanksgiving weekend activities include visits to both families for dinner. i'm quite looking forward to it; it's a small enough holiday that i don't generally feel unduly stressed, and my mom's famous potluck dinner is reliably entertaining. i was quite sad to have missed it last year, though wisconsin was quite lovely... i will bring my gluten-free stuffing, and the queen will bring his homemade lager. or stout. or possibly wine.
what have i been doing? puréeing those mother-loving apples like there's no tomorrow (i think we actually have too many frozen apple icecubes. for realz. but on the other hand, dumpling has been impressive in her eating lately, so maybe i just don't get how much her appetite will increase), making more homemade baileys (second batch is super freakin tasty), being all homebody-ish and trying to conserve my sanity. it's nice that these newly developed hobbies of making booze covers our asses for the holiday season. except for the queen. what do you get the guy who has too many hobbies and buys everything he wants? you make something, with time i can't find.
one last link: i have decided to enter the world of makeup. blame/reward bijoux! she's turning me into a girl. we did at-home facials the other day. anyway. i found the awesomest place to order super lovely cosmetics: all fruit pigments, vegan (mild use of cruelty-free honey), made in canada and free shipping in canada when you spend a small truckload of money (which i totally did yay!). hey, it's an investment. into what, i'm not sure. stay tuned for feedback on effectiveness and ease of use! and don't worry, i'm still a belching, wig-stealing, hardcore hiphop fan who skulks around in black, fraying hoodies.
the dumpling's latest feats include being able to take off her hats, which means sweaters are my saviour, though i did finally finish plasticking up the windows for winter. i also unpacked my winter clothes and am excited about woolly accessories because that's the kind of nerd i am. bring on the wrist warmers! scarves of varying thickness! leg warmers! classy gloves that remind me of my grandma but make my iphone inaccessible!
i retired hank for the season, which doesn't mean we won't take 'er on any more trips, but since the queen bought a used, right-hand drive safari (see how the steering wheel is wooden? classy, eh?) whose seats fold down quite well to fit an us-sized (okay, me-sized) mattress and one of the queen's bros gave us a portable crib, we figure we might downsize the travel accommodations for quick trips to the city. one camping stove for bottle heating - check. sorry hank. you're hard to park. but hank is still our awesome inlaw suite, where our friend fieldinbloom will be staying when he comes out in a couple of weeks! with his mother and daughter!
also, the awesomes will be staying a night on this thanksgiving long weekend. they are bringing the possums, and i am rather excited since the dumpling has evolved to a new level of playing. she quite likes the possums, and of course they like her since she is little and cute and they are smart little possums. lady awesome is no doubt liked by all girls everywhere, with her pocahontas-lady-of-the-woods eyes and her crooning ukelele skills.
other thanksgiving weekend activities include visits to both families for dinner. i'm quite looking forward to it; it's a small enough holiday that i don't generally feel unduly stressed, and my mom's famous potluck dinner is reliably entertaining. i was quite sad to have missed it last year, though wisconsin was quite lovely... i will bring my gluten-free stuffing, and the queen will bring his homemade lager. or stout. or possibly wine.
what have i been doing? puréeing those mother-loving apples like there's no tomorrow (i think we actually have too many frozen apple icecubes. for realz. but on the other hand, dumpling has been impressive in her eating lately, so maybe i just don't get how much her appetite will increase), making more homemade baileys (second batch is super freakin tasty), being all homebody-ish and trying to conserve my sanity. it's nice that these newly developed hobbies of making booze covers our asses for the holiday season. except for the queen. what do you get the guy who has too many hobbies and buys everything he wants? you make something, with time i can't find.
one last link: i have decided to enter the world of makeup. blame/reward bijoux! she's turning me into a girl. we did at-home facials the other day. anyway. i found the awesomest place to order super lovely cosmetics: all fruit pigments, vegan (mild use of cruelty-free honey), made in canada and free shipping in canada when you spend a small truckload of money (which i totally did yay!). hey, it's an investment. into what, i'm not sure. stay tuned for feedback on effectiveness and ease of use! and don't worry, i'm still a belching, wig-stealing, hardcore hiphop fan who skulks around in black, fraying hoodies.
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